CHENG AND LILING:  

Part 1 

Two months before International Student Orientation, I received a social media friend request from Cheng who was getting ready for his junior year at UConn. I thought he was cute and didn’t know anyone on campus, so I accepted his request. After discovering how much we had in common we started exchanging text messages every day. Cheng would talk about the professors he liked, the dining halls that served good food, and shared funny stories about his friends who he wanted to introduce me to.  

I asked Cheng if he would pick me up from the airport when I finally arrived, and he told me he’d be happy to. He helped me get settled in my residence hall and took me for a tour. He gave me advice on which classes to register for, and I was very excited when I learned that he would be my TA in Statistics 1000.  

From that point on we spent everyday together. I got really sick with the flu the second week of classes, and Cheng brought me soup and my favorite ice cream from the Dairy Bar every day for a week straight. At the end of the week, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said “yes.” Everything was going so well. 

 

Part 2 

Cheng would walk me to all my classes and usually met me after class to walk me back to my room. One time, I told Cheng that I wanted to walk with my friend, Wei, to a class we had together; he became very upset and told me that he would miss me too much if I didn’t walk with him. When I asked if Wei could walk with us, Cheng told me Wei wasn’t a good influence on me and preferred I not hang out with him anymore.  

One afternoon, I fell asleep while we were studying in my room. When I woke up Cheng was going through my phone. He told me that he was looking up the bus schedule but got angry when he saw I had been texting with my friend Wei. Later that night, we went to a party at Cheng’s friend’s apartment. Even though I didn’t really like to drink alcohol, Cheng always said I was more fun when I did. Because Cheng was angry with me over the text messages, I thought if I drank, he would forgive me. 

After the party, we went back to Cheng’s apartment. After kissing for a while, I told Cheng I wanted to go to sleep. He kept trying to take my clothes off and told me that if I was really sorry about texting with Wei, I would have sex with him. Knowing he’d be even angrier in the morning, I stopped resisting and told him to “at least wear a condom.”  

 

Part 3 

I had to wake up early the next morning to go to class. I left Cheng’s apartment feeling very upset about what happened the night before. I think he could tell because he called or text messaged me every 30 minutes that day. Later that night, he showed up at my door with a dozen roses. A few of our mutual friends were over to study, and they kept talking about how lucky I was to have Cheng as a boyfriend. While a part of me agreed, I told Cheng later that night that I wanted to breakup because I felt like he was being too controlling and manipulative. He got very angry and told me he would hurt himself if I left him. I loved Cheng and worried he would do something dangerous, so I stayed at his apartment that night.  

I tried to breakup with him again a week later, but he told me he would make sure I received an F in Statistics 1000. I’ve been trying to avoid him, but he keeps sending me flowers and leaving chocolates at my door. I feel like I need to talk to someone about what’s been happening, but I’m not sure who to turn to.